Tick Tock...

Surgery is in two weeks. Tomorrow my brother and I will visit Guy's for our pre-admission tests and some other stuff.

I am very surprised at just how calm I feel. All this time I thought I was being strong for my family, when really I was being strong for me. Truth be told I feel a little stronger each day. Sure, I'm having freaky dreams and the op is never far from thoughts, but surely that's all natural? I mean I'm having surgery that I don't need. I keep waiting for a meltdown, the kind I usually have at pressure moments, but nothing. There is still time....

I've never had a lot of confidence in myself or my abilities, I am the first to criticise myself and usually harshly, I have never been able to take compliments or praise very well, I usually just laugh or shrug it off.  Lately though, I feel transformed, I feel like my sparkle is returning and I can't help but think that maybe, my brother isn't the only person to benefit from this transplant. I am too.

I am seeing myself very differently lately and even thinking differently too. The "I can't do its" or the "I'm not good enoughs" have diminshed greatly. Sure they haven't gone completely but they definitely aren't as loud.

The great thing about all of this is not only have I begun to discover myself, but everytime I look at my big brother, now and in the future, I will always be reminded of the gift he gave to me, not just the gift I gave to him.

WOW, that's so corny!! Sometimes real talk is, I'm afraid.

Bills, Bills, Bills...

One of my biggest concerns going into this donor business, was how will I support myself whilst off work. Rent & bills still needs to be paid! My family can't help me, even if I wanted them to as it can be seen as coercion.

If you are employed you are of course entitled to statutory sick pay and if you employer offers their own sick pay scheme, you can have that to. When I started this journey I was employed and thought that I would probably take the first month as holiday, as company sick pay wasn't offered other than statutory. It really depends on your employer, I guess. Some see it as a great thing to do and will offer as much help as they can, others will just offer the minimum.

Now, 5 weeks away from surgery, I find myself in a different situation, I am eligible to claim Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) up until the time of the surgery, then I will have to claim Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) during my recovery period. I am also entitled to housing benefit and council tax benefit, but to what amount remains to be seen as I only put in my claim yesterday. I'll try and update this when I find out.

Another great thing, is that I am able to claim for all my travel and reasonable miscellaneous expenses back from the NHS. So trips to both Brighton & London hospitals etc etc.

If you are employed, you can also apply for a loss of earning grant, I think the cap is £5000. But definitely something to think about claiming.

I was very surprised to discover that these things exist. After all it is my decision to donate I don't have to. However, I guess there needs to some sort of "perk" for giving up an organ.

My Upcoming Schedule....

5 weeks to go and I'm gonna be a busy girl...

BRIGHTON
Thursday 09.01.14 - 10am - Renal Ultrasound, ECG, Chest X-ray & bloods

GUYS HOSPITAL
Thursday 30.01.14 - 9am - Pre-admission tests
                                    11am - Pre-admission group education session
                                    1pm - Pre-clerking appointment (whatever that is.)

Wednesday 12.02.14 - 9am - Admission to Hospital
                                         ?pm - SURGERY

Monday 10.03.14 - 2pm - Post Op follow up.

How do like them apples???